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February 23, 2012

Santorum v. Satan...

Given he can't fight the real candidates, Ricky has decide to take on... wait for it... The Devil.

"Satan is attacking the great institutions of America" he crowed, following up with "This is a spiritual war. And the Father of Lies has his sights on what you would think the Father of Lies would have his sights on: A good, decent, powerful, influential country -- the United States of America." 

He continued to rattle on, alluding that Obama followed a theology not based on the bible, that Martians ate his earwax, and his nipples can be used to predict the weather, while occasionally having the drool from his chin wiped off by the same handler who administers his three-times-daily medication.

And that's going to work as a campaign strategy with all the people who shouldn't have drivers licenses, shouldn't own property, and certainly shouldn't reproduce.

Which, by the way, if we ever decide to run for office, will be our platform.


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