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December 11, 2007

California out of our cups...

We note with some level of misery that a California State advisory board has come out with a recommendation for warning labels on drinks containing caffeine.

In typical CA advisory board manner, they've put solving the problem on the product labeling instead of on educating retarded citizens.  And when we say retarded, we're not talking about noble mentally challenged individuals.  No, we're talking about perfectly healthy brains that are simply too lazy to try to access situations and take responsibility for their own ignorance. To them we say, you deserve what you get.  But back to the issue at hand.

Caffeine is apparently risky for pregnant women. OK, we'll not argue that.  But hey, if you're a pregnant woman, you should probably be reading all kinds of books about your condition, maybe talking with doctors, or other women who've been through this.  Should you be looking for medical advice on a can of Coke?  We think not.

But as we said, the board is going to push for labeling of drinks where caffeine has been added to warn about associated health risks.  The really stupid thing here: Coffee is exempt.

Coffee comes by it's caffeine naturally, so it's not suggested that it be labeled.  Only unnatural caffeine drinks, those where evil men have added caffeine to the product, need labeling.  Again, the suggestion is ridiculous, as a cup of coffee or tea contains two to three times the caffeine of the same amount of soft drink.

Funny if it stops there, but there's one more tidbit here.  How much is safe for the expectant mother?  Wait!  They can safely consume caffeine after all?  Yes!  About two cups of coffee a day is allowed.  Or seven soft drinks! 

SEVEN soft drinks?  Hell, the health risks for all that fructose sweetener is worse than the caffeine! 

Thanks California advisory board for carefully spending every penny you were allotted on a worthless investigation and summary report.  Have a cup of joe on us, coffee achievers!

  Fucking seven soft drinks a day? Wow, real mystery in weight gain there. Hey expectant mother!  Want to drop some of that fat build up?  Knock off the soft drinks all together!  You'll be back in a size seven in no time.  

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