we get it... daily
June 9, 2006
It simply doesn't work...
There's a class action suit here somewhere. Something to the effect of reckless wasting of all our time. The scenario is you call into a service where you have a subscription, usually be cause they've screwed something up.
Of course the first thing you talk to is a recording who, to assure a speedy transaction, takes your account number, date of birth, mother's maiden name, last four digits of your social security number, blood type, sexual orientation, political party affiliation, boxers or briefs, Ginger or Mary Anne, and a few more essential details.
Then you hold, listening to music designed to put you to sleep, except for the occasional blasting voice over telling you how happy they are you've called and how much they appreciate you're patience.
When you finally get through to a guy named Ralph Jones (who sounds suspiciously like he had curry for lunch) he thanks you for holding and then says to assure your confidentiality, he needs a few items of information to guarantee you're still the guy who initiated the call. This is of course your account number, date of birth, mother's maiden name, last four digits of your social security number, blood type, sexual orientation, political party affiliation, boxers or briefs, Ginger or Mary Anne, and a few more essential details.
The secret here is that they don't actually have computers, recorders, or any high-tech routing stuff. That's an unnecessary expense. The first part of the process is to get you to hopefully hang up in frustration because you don't know some essential item. Once you're with a representative, he re-enforces your opinion that there is no intelligent life on the other end of the phone, and you might as well have called Pizza Hut for assistance.
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