we get it... daily
March 20, 2005
Of course the Democrats have their loonies too...
Hey, here's an idea - let's drive all the sexuality out of cheerleading. Too many vulgar moves out there on the gym floor, young blooming bodies jiggling around, robust and sweating, it's just too suggestive, we might have teenagers in the audience thinking impure thoughts.
Well, that's what Reprehensitive Al Edwards, Democrat from Houston, thinks. He's introduced a bill to punish risqué cheerleader routines allowing the Texas Education Agency to cut off state funds and ban performances by the offending group for the remainder of the school year. Of course, there's no real actionable definition of what vulgar is included in his work. Tha's cuz good folks a-know vulgar whens they sees it. It makes them feel jealous or perhaps more than a little aroused themselves, and then WHAM, they pounce on the bouncy little vixens.
Now you'd think he'd be able to find a better use of his time, him being an elected representative and what with Houston being fucked-up and all. But this is the same guy who proposed a bill to punish drug dealers by chopping off their fingers, and has gone after explicit lyrics in songs. So we're guessing he's thinking redefining cheerleaders as some kind of bizarre synchronized semaphore signaling corps in burkas, working the change through fear of indiscriminate and random persecution.
Every generation has this kind of weirdo. Back in the 20's people were scandalized by flappers who danced the Charleston and whose dresses rose to a few inches beneath their knees. And remember that Ed Sullivan wouldn't let you look at Elvis' pelvis. The fact that we still have this kind of crazy among us is no surprise. The fact that our nation is still so ignorant and sheep-like that such lunacy gains status above street corner rant is disappointing to our Darwinist sensibilities.
Remove all the vulgar moves from Cheerleading? Yeah, and then the violence from football, the drugs from baseball and the idiots from politics. Each reduction would leave the area empty and without meaning.
We say God Bless America, and hands off the perfection.
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