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February 1, 2005

Taken the oath?

Did you know there's actually a Republican Party oath?

I'm a Republican Because...
I BELIEVE the strength of our nation lies with the individual and that each person’s dignity, freedom, ability and responsibility must be honored. 
Except where they're so different it's really icky.
I BELIEVE in equal rights, equal justice and equal opportunity for all, regardless of race, creed, sex, age or disability.
I BELIEVE free enterprise and encouraging individual initiative have brought this nation opportunity, economic growth and prosperity.
And kept us free of financially crippling ecological and social policies.
I BELIEVE government must practice fiscal responsibility and allow individuals to keep more of the money they earn.
More money each year, year after year.
I BELIEVE the proper role of government is to provide for the people only those critical functions that cannot be performed by individuals or private organizations and that the best government is that which governs least.
Except for that war thing.  Go to town with that one.
I BELIEVE the most effective, responsible and responsive government is government closest to the people.
I BELIEVE Americans must retain the principles that have made us strong while developing new and innovative ideas to meet the challenges of changing times.
Like government toppling and empire building.
I BELIEVE Americans value and should preserve our national strength and pride while working to extend peace, freedom and human rights throughout the world.
Whether the heathens want it or not.
FINALLY, I believe the Republican Party is the best vehicle for translating these ideals into positive and successful principles of government.
Especially when I'm profiting from their decisions.

Intrinsic hypocrisy aside, we have to admit it is cute as a button.  Note that it's "belief based." Did you get that? Was it clear? Read it again if you missed the hints. Somewhat subtle, but no overt mention of God though. Was that an oversight?  Seems it must have been given the secular injections everything else is getting these days. 

Seriously though, to our Republican friends.  Did you take the oath?

Our favorite oath is a little more direct.



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