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June 19, 2004

You know what pisses us off almost as much as Bush?

That would be phone technical support staff who don't know as much about their products as we do.  Fuck, would it kill them to use the application for a while before trying to browse their company's web page for an answer to our question?  We've already read the whole useless set of upgrade advertisements you call a technical support section Mr. Patel, OK, so put us back to the mainland and let us talk to someone who isn't part of the cheap offshore workforce!

You know you're on the phone with one of these idiots when there's a half-second of dead air between your comment and their robot-like summary of what you just said.

You: "Hey dickweed, your product smokes when I press A and B at the same time!


Him: "So if I understand you correctly, when you press A and B at the same time you think you smell smoke."

You: "Yeah, I think I smell it, and I think it looks like fucking Jeanie rising out of her bottle to get all hot and wobbly on Major Nelson."


Him: "I see.  Thank you very much for that detail. I will now have to be checking with my records to see what I can do for you.  Please be holding on the phone while I make sure you will get a most excellent answer."

And how much does it take to get them to admit that they're overseas flunkies anyway?  We trip them up just to get them to admit they're in Bangalore, and once they've hit the carpet on that one we'll work them into admitting they've never actually used the product they're supporting!  This is followed by a detailed letter to the company telling where they can shove their technical support.

Apparently lots of investment bankers want to see companies "offshore strategy" these days. We're wondering if it's because IB's are actually trying to make sure the whole country goes down the crapper! Let's all try to get them to sit on A and B at the same time.


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