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May 31, 2004

Maybe News...

Sensational news is nothing new.  Nobody pays attention to "Hey, everything's fine, go about your business" but they stare when the headlines are "crazy mad bomber sets himself on fire and runs into elementary school."  Now, the latter doesn't happen all that much in reality, but to make up for the lack of real sensations the news folks have started to perfect this thing we like to call "maybe news."  That's where they find at least one source that they can quote as postulating some kind of causal effect in a very negative fashion. 

For example, today there's a Maybe News story about how the violence in Saudi Arabia might cause oil prices to go up when everyone was expecting them to go down with increased production.  If you read the article, of 22 analysts polled, five thought prices might rise.  Five, not even 25 percent, but their existence means there's a viable "maybe news" story there.

So, while we're at it, some "maybe news" stories that could pop up in the future:

Existence of Other Stars Foretells Potential Alien Invasion

Adam West May Revisit Batman Role on Broadway

Pamela Anderson in the Running for MENSA Leadership Post

Dick Cheney Doesn't Rule Out Violent Overthrow of Bush to Attain Personal Power

American SUV Owners Choose Global Warming To Assure Safety of Families While Driver Sleeps

Go ahead, have some fun.  Make up your own set of "maybe news" headlines today! 


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