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April 21, 2004

The art of insults...


It seems to be the insult of choice for the current crop of ignorant young fools. Kind of funny really. The most damaging thing empty-headed goons can say or write is a fairly unbelievable appraisal of another's sexual preference. Based on... what? Says a lot about the insulter, more than it does about the insulted. For example, why is it so much on their minds? Are they actually in doubt of their own sexuality, and by the insult they think they affirm their "straightness?" Man, we all know about closet homosexuals who come out years after their rage against the class. As it is said; "When Peter talks about Paul, we learn more about Peter than Paul." (You can't stop thinking about the whole peter reference there, can you?) But enough of the gay stuff.

If these wits had something real to say about their nemesis, why not approach that directly; "You're an accomplished asshole, no really, you have no taste and you're rude." Or better, deliver the insult in a caring and constructive manner;  "You simply have a great deal of difficulty with basic spelling, don't you?  Are you the product of inept home schooling?" The best are like time bombs, not exploding until they roll around in the victim's head a bit; "Yeah, it's admirable how good grooming hides your immediate inbred nature" or "Congratulations on completing six wonderful years of high school!"

See the art of the insult is in the art. It's all about biting words, not words quickly bitten off. Give it some thought, study the greats like Winston Churchill, W. C. Fields, Oscar Wilde, or even pre 2001 Dennis Miller. Say something memorable, something that will make them think. Something they can include in their suicide note.

And don't forget the hand gesture.


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