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December 4, 2003
OK, another Paris Hilton comment
Now that we've seen two episodes of "The Simple Life" we're fairly surprised by our reaction. Much as we're getting to know her, Paris might as well not be there. She adds little and her "clueless young slacker Cher" attitude is just embarrassing to watch. You can't be sad for this want it/got it heiress, but the wasted potential here is amazing. It's not only obvious she's never held a job, but we doubt she's read a book or newspaper. We'd rather see her on Howard Stern answering the "Name three presidents" questions he gives hookers and the retarded. This is a hollow vessel, one with exactly enough collagen and just the right makeup and couture, but she comes with her own built-in echo.
Nicole on the other hand at least has some energy and seems genuinely embarrassed at times. At least she seems to know how useless she appears. "I'm recording an album soon" she defensively chirps as if this is somehow connected to a talent. Yeah, right, and we're writing a screenplay.
Neither, when you get a good look at them, is attractive; it's all packaging. Best makeup, couture, and personal trainers money can buy - right? But that can't make up for lack of personality or charm. We did enjoy Nicole's suggestion of "giving him some" re: the farm's eldest son Justin. Then again it's prime time network TV folks - ain't gonna happen. (But just in case, Justin might head off to Wal-Mart and buy one of those night vision camcorders...)
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Oh yes, we're waiting for something devastating to happen to that long-legged rat "Tinkerbell". We hope it has something to do with farm equipment or a cow.
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