we get it... daily

November 16, 2003

Another thing that strikes us as insane...

Why do kids get graded in Physical Education class? Couldn't we skip right to examination of their chromosomes and grade that?  Is it simply to pull up the GPAs of thick-necked dullards?  While tempting, let's not get sidetracked by the whacked oxymoron that PE represents; going beyond the insanity that is represented by this systematic assault on the egos of young people who are, for the most part, already extremely self-conscious about their physical state; show them what failures they are, then make them get naked together.  Let's save that rant for another day.

More to the point, where the hell do "educators" get off averaging these dubious grades into actual marks for scholastic aptitude? Later, when it matters more in the development of human beings with conscience, we allow technological or business focused folks the opportunity to completely avoid Humanities and the Arts in University because it's not germane to their chosen studies. And by that we develop the kind of soullessness that gives us Enron and the Suitcase Atomic Bombs. The fact that fat Billy couldn't climb a rope, or Susan's cramps kept her from running the mile, should not be allowed to influence at all the record of achievement in grade school.  It simply does not matter! 

A topic for another day, shouldn't gym teachers have some kind of intense psychological screening to eliminate the bulk of them all together?  It really is a case where those who want the job most should not be allowed to have it.

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  To those poor souls in grade school, we advise the following:
When PE Phil or Phyllis tells you to do something you don't want to, tell them "no."  It's an easy word, and you don't have to explain it. Repeat as necessary.  Extra credit: Get your friends in on it and sit in a ring and sing "we shall overcome."  Call the local news on your cell (yeah, go ahead and break school rules - you're in this for good, right?) to say that there's a student protest going on.  The camera coverage will be great, and then you'll have the 6 PM talking heads asking the school "so why do you grade this moronic activity?"

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