we get it
July 8, 2003
Go ahead. Call from the car...
New York is reporting record revenues from new laws fining drivers who use cell phones. Three million bucks in five months! Only a matter of time before other states adopt similar laws.
We think most cell phones are fairly well managed in a car. But since this seems to be working, how about similar fines for drivers who...
Eat any food that involves manipulating a wrapper or catching drips
Apply makeup or attempt excessive preening or grooming
Stop in a lane to get something out of the trunk
Have conversations with passengers that apparently require continuous eye contact and hand gestures
Have conversations with passengers that apparently require their head in your lap
Read books, magazines, or newspapers on the steering wheel
Shave or just adjust mirrors for self-viewing
Fold or unfold a map
Watch any video display in the dashboard
Have more "bumper" stickers on their rear than visible paint
(OK, we just threw that last one in at the end. Get a life you sticky morons!)
There, do believe we just balanced the budgets for most states.
|
|
|
|
|
While we've got your attention we'd also suggest special fines for tailgating trucks and SUVs. Perhaps some form of public humiliation like taking the bus to work. |
Read the Lies
Read the Shouts
Read the Archives
Read the Static
evil.com is back. we get it. check back daily.